Men don’t spend years dreaming of their wedding day. They don’t fantasize about suits or know for years what colour tie their groomsmen will wear. They seem happy leaving all of the decisions to the bride (or mother of the bride) but the truth is, it’s their day too and they should be involved in making the day theirs. After all, it wouldn't be happening without them.
From start to finish involve your man. Give them jobs that get them excited for the big day as opposed to feeling like they’re watching the process happen around them. We get, as women, that men don’t care about flowers or napkin colours, but we do expect some help and input along the way.
When I asked Mr. X how he felt he helped with the wedding he said, “I supported you. I came to as many meetings as possible and gave my opinion about the details I cared about. Basically I tried to make it as easy as possible on you. Oh and I showed upJ”. I was thrilled to have Mr. X with me at appointments and as much as he didn’t care to start his own DIY projects, he was certainly excited to see the finished products along the way.
The key is to give your man jobs to keep him up-to-date with the plans, minimize your stress level and to do list, and make him feel like at least part of the wedding was his doing. Here are some tips to bring your man into the planning process:
- * Let him pick out the ring (or at least let him think he did) – even if you have had your heart set on a specific rock, give him subtle hints and/or pictures but let him be the one to do the work and make him think he made the decision. Guys work very hard to provide their Mrs. with the ring of their dreams and it will boost their egos if they feel they did it on their own.
- * Ask your man to work on the playlist for the wedding or engagement party. This is a great job to take off your plate and one that your man will actually enjoy.
- * Invite your groom to each appointment you make. Make him feel included when you meet with photographers and planners – they too need to work with the vendors on the wedding day.
- * Show him pictures of the décor you are picturing. Ask him his thoughts.
- * Make a date to go suit/tux shopping. Girls make appointments and plan full days around wedding dress shopping and I think boys should get the same opportunity. Plan a day where you spend all day with your man trying on suits, ties, accessories and everything for him. If your man isn’t a shopper, then maybe limit this to one store :).
- * Food. Food. Food. If you ask any groom what he is most looking forward to in the wedding planning process, he will say the tastings! It’s unanimous. All men look forward to multiple cake servings and copious amounts of meal samplings. Make sure your man is present for any tastings and be sure to ask his opinion too.
Whichever way your plans go, try and remember the wedding is a union and the process should be too! Hopefully your man will let you rule the planning but offer insight and input when it counts. Weddings are a huge undertaking and it always feels better to have a partner.